I Hav Questions to be answered

           This afternoon after a self cooked hearty meal I sat with nothing to do, no power & no gadget to engage with, I had these train of thoughts(questions would be more appropriate) running

                                             " What am i gonna do next?"

  Now that's a biggie. After the debacle i.e,. GATE I was a bit taken aback.Had I cleared it, I would hv happily gotten into some college for my masters and this question wouldn't arise, as my options would hv been simplified and encouraging. But that didn't happen and now I am at this crossroad. I can be either optimistic or be a pessimist and brood over this. So I decided to kick awake the optimist in me and was amazed at the thought " Now I hav lot more choices than I can ever dream of, I can crack next years GATE or go on and prepare for CAT and get an MBA to my name, or fly away writing GRE or I can go in search of a job and be happy that I started earning when half my friends are out there fighting with books :-p."
   
   For a while this looked encouraging but I found out some thing
   
 " Choosing and being happy with our choices is always  inversely proportional to no. of choices available"
I.e,. the lesser choices u have the happier u will be with the choice made. We humans tend to second guess our choices. What if i am wrong? What if my choices backfire? . the questions arise as we believe that only one of that choice available to u is right and all others lead to doom. So now the probability of us picking that option is 1 in N where N is the no. of choices available. So by seeing that the odds are staked so high we knowingly or unknowingly fear that our choice may be wrong. Since we've got no simulators or mathematical models to predict the results we have to rely on our  instincts.

 We fear the results as at the end of the day it is we who face consequences. And facing consequences is a big fear(at least to me). But I backed myself saying or rather promising " I am ready to face consequences". Then my thoughts shifted to this idea" What are consequences but the situation or state that is result of chain reaction of events right from starting to the end.

  Our life is not like our labs where practical values should match the theoretical values, and here comes my revelation " To hell with d consequences. If you are happy about the decisions you make then you will enjoy the result which the world says is a failure. B'cos u put in the effort & would't mind thee li'l tripping. So I came up with a 2 point solution
                          ->Listen to ur heart and do what needs to be done.
                          ->Stop worring if u really did listen to ur heart.
Now I am ready to face my first question " What am I gonna do now?"

  Then there was this sudden burst of crazy ideas ranging from starting a day care center to setting up a food court and even crazier ones like being a hippie. Suddenly with a big WHOOOSH!! cool air from fan  hit my sweaty self indicating  the signs of redemption saving me from the hot sunny afternoon and boredom.And the next thing I know I am here on internet listening to Kenny Loggin's "Highway to the danger zone" and typing this shit leaving my most important question for anothertime.

21/8/13

Oh God!! Lots and lots of holidays, kinda sick of these holidays.. All the while used to cry for holidays bt nw wen we are finally getting some I feel sick of holidays… almost a week since I left home for any place.. so boring to be stuck up like this…..

  But a cool thing is I came to know that I had a knack at cooking, tried all I can, and used almost anything I get to lay my hands on.it is so cool to cook provided that u need not do that cleaning part. I almost leave a mess wen I’m done with cooking. tried different dishes ranging from andhra cuisine to Italian. but trust me cooking is fun..

And if u need to loose some weight cook your meal,Trust me  u won’t feel like filling up your belly either due to satisfaction or by fear of your culinary skills ;-)

Besides I also found out I had an appetite for photography, It is always intriguing to me. it is a dream from ages to hold a camera and take some of the coolest ever pic’s but some how I got hold of a simple P&S cam(Canon Power shot to be precise) and am taking photos (not as cool as I dreamt).  woke up at 4.30 am,thought of catching sun off guard(he’s just out of bed), took some nice pics, tried few tricks I read the other day.

And spent all the afternoon with photoshop. practiced som little typography. and made some wallpapers for me( I luv tis part). practiced working on 3D layer(really cool feature)..

My evening is worst for I sat to write all this stuff, Man trust me writing aien’t for lazy buggers like me.I just sat ther b’cos I didn’t want to leave it in middle or else I would hav ended this post a long ago and saved a bit of your time.

 

Sundays ??

This question is irking me from a long time... i kinda hv mixed feelings about SUNDAYS....... Right from Monday to Saturday I keep thinking about sundays,nd ways to use it productively... bt the scene changes...

Sunday morning.. " i hv got all the day to use productively.. so wats wrong in using sme fr me(actually itswasting sme fr me)

After using my day fr me fr an hour or two....idea of productive usage of sunday resurfaces in my mind..

then " Oh! C'mon dis is d only day i get to use fr my self.. wats wrong in using some more 4 me...

Dis goes on till noon nd at lunch" Oh! wasted a lot of time in the morning need to use the rest of my day productively.., kinda cool to take a nap before i start using my day productively.."

Waking up in the evening  "My goodness my li'l nap turned out to be a deep sleep.".."Holy Shit.. what had i done all the day.. Man I really wasted this sunday.. any ways 'll think of using next sunday productively.."

Sitting lonely on my terrace- starts thinking about hell lot of things and sme irky questions come up like

       

        " What's wrong with me"

         

        "What's happening to me"

       " What's the thing with my life"

         

         "What am i up to"

 

         "Where am i headed to"

         "What will happen of me "

Then strangely I heard a voice today- it started like a whisper in my ears nd in minutes it turned out to loud screams. i can sense anger in those screams though the words were not so clear.. then slowly those words were very clear and the voice as well is of some one whom i know.. not jus i know dat voice but a voice i can never forget..... those words are nothing bt my names almost all of them are my pet names then i realized that voice nd i was shocked ....

" That voice was of my MOM and those screams are about nothing  but my dinner....."

then i took out my mobile nd looked at the time << Its 8'o clock>>

I slowly descended the stairs nd finished my dinner nd jumped on to bed making promises to my self

       

                          " This will be the last sunday I am gonna waste"

Welcome :-)

Welcome to << MY BLOG>> a platform for me to share some of my endless thoughts... my silly ideas... nd many more... it feels so good to hav some personal space where my thoughts wont be overruled by that of others ... this is where I will be myself, nd wont be giving shit about supressing my thoughts....nd will be expressing freely wat i wanted to....
finally I welcome u to my blog... trust me i wont be feeding u shit...